TALKTALK TALKNOT

Monday morning and I'm keen to start the week and really make a difference

Oh bugger!  the telephone is playing up and it's just gone 9.00 am. The dial tone sounds a bit like our woodpecker outside and when I phoned in from another line they said I was busy - "please leave a message"

I was busy - but the telephone wasn't.

I look for contact details on line but the web site seems constructed to answer every conceivable problem but not to provide the contact telephone number.

Using Sandra's charity phone line I set out on the journey. After 5 minutes in the queue I give up and try again. This time I press the options for leaving TALKTALK and not because I am moving house. I get someone immediately. He can't help solve my problem but he can offer me a "Mobile boost" which will save me £20 a month. (We'll wait and  see on that one!). The conversation is recorded and terms and conditions must be read -  he is, after all, in the department for keeping customers - not for fixing broken land lines.

Transfered to the technical department the new man wants to know my telephone number, that's the number I had to key in earlier "to speed up the process" and the number I gave to the previous man. My name and details are checked, I'm on hold, Have I unplugged devices, tried a different handset, removed faceplate? 

Back on hold I write an email to Dido Harding (CEO of TalkTalk) in which I explain that I have now been on the line for 22 minutes.

My conversation continues, he is testing the line, I'm on hold, more musac, "the second line test may take some time", I'm back on hold.

OK a result! - 30 minutes have elapsed. He is going to book an engineer to investigate. I must understand that if there is a problem with my telephone equipment there may be a £50 charge.

Is there anything more I can do for you today? Are you completely satisfied with the way your call has been dealt with? Would you like to speak to a manager?

No thank you. I have just clocked up 35+ minutes on a borrowed telephone. I think that is long enough.

I revise the time mentioned in my email to Dido and click "SEND".